Electronic Letters: October 21, 1997 (5:38 PM)

During the years 1996 to 1998, I got close to having a dream job. I was Editor-in-Chief of an online magazine. We had high-speed Internet, flexitime, and no dress code. Best of all, I was among a bunch of talented and amazing people.

But for every Internet success, a thousand other endeavors fall by the wayside. And so it was with us. We were much too way ahead of the market. We were having too much fun. We were a cost center.

I'm sharing the email I wrote to my editorial team last October 21, 1997 (12:22:53 PM). It's something I need to bring out into the light of day, to remind me. Just to remind me.

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K---, B---, M---,

I'm just going to share my ruminations and feelings on the current situation. The walk from SM Megamall to El Pueblo then to Galleria did some good.

Don't say I didn't warn you...

When I first found out about these changes that they were planning, I was indeed pissed off and indignant. How can they do this to our baby? I felt like we were being cut at the knees after a year-long struggle to get where we are now.

And today we were discussing how we were going to deal with it, how it might not be that bad. But it does feel bad deep inside. Change always is something that's hard to take. I've always wondered how it felt to be threatened by restructuring. I've read so much about it, how it happened to other people, to other companies. Now it's happening to us, to me, to my friends. With such a threat, I admit that it seems so convenient to bail out.

But I have always known that if our group was going to dwindle away one by one, I would be the last one to leave. No, it's not a matter of martyrdom. I feel that since I was one of those who started it, who actually said--"Let's go this way"--I would be the last one to decide not to go where I wanted to go to in the first place. I wanted us to go somewhere, and I do know that it's not easy for everyone.

A lot of people have left, all of them good people and good friends, and I don't blame them for leaving. If I were in their position, I would have probably done the same thing. But I'm not in their position. In part, I do lead the group. But in real terms, my job is to clarify things--what we need to do, what we can do, what we must do, where we are, where we can go, how we do things, what we can hope for, what we must believe in. That is my position in the group.

When I suddenly started daydreaming of starting a media company, I realized that it was not the products that led me into this daydreaming. More than wanting to create and produce websites and other online products, I yearned to keep our environment for work.

From day one, K--- and I knew that what was most important was to protect the group from the hassles and pressures of a corporate environment. We knew how the whims of upper management can wreak havoc on the lives of those below them. We wanted to fight this state of affairs, to keep a place where we could actually live and work.

I know I'm beginning to sound cheesy here, but I have to impress on you all the primary importance of keeping the working environment healthy and creative. If anything, this is what is worth fighting for.

It's more than keeping the team happy, more than letting them be creative, letting them do good work and have fun in the process. It's about living the way we should be living.

I have always believed that work is not a compromise, that we need not sacrifice our dreams and talents just to save up for our caprichos and pay for the daily expenses of eating and commuting. We work because we believe that it's worth doing: it should be that way.

In this past decade, I have seen how people are forced to take jobs from which they derive no pleasure or in which they find no fulfillment. As in anything, if it doesn't nurture you, it kills you. Your body and heart knows if your job is killing you inside. If you're lucky, you will suffer a breakdown. If not, you will just grow numb, stay in the same job and care much less for yourself.

I also believe that people like us who dream of things bigger than us need not throw away our lives, relationships, and ties to society just to pursue a dream. It's hard to just ditch what we have now and go off into some mountain or small town doing what we love. But it's also as hard to face up to our situation--in this infuriating metropolis--and walk right in, taking the practical worries of money, food, and having "a life" all in to our hands.

This is the exciting part.

It's exciting to confront an entire corporation and speak on how things should be done. In this case, we take the responsibility of our roles to its logical path.

It's also exciting to start our own company, because I think this is the ultimate challenge, the ultimate contemporary adventure. Imagine the possibilities.

But what is my point?

My point here is that what has always been most important to me is the soul of our group, the core values and mission. This is what drives us to do what we do. This is what anchors us in the chaos. Products die, markets change, and people come and go. But what remains the same is that motivating force, that raison d'etre, that soul I'm talking about.

What is our soul? Our soul is creativity with a mission to find better ways of living. The i-Site was never just for entertainment, the i-Data was not just for information, and the Chat Events were never just for building communities. We don't write great articles, make cool graphics, and code top-notch html, just for quality. We do all these because we believe that everything springs from our innate and cultivated creativity, and that we can actually make life better for those who visit and participate in the i-Site.

And finding better ways of living started with what we did with the team. We treated each other like friends and family, so we became friends and family. We didn't share food or celebrate birthdays or go out together just because it improves morale; we did all that because we cared for the person and group.

We urged everyone to have initiative and to be creative not because it'll create a better website, but because we believed in the inherent value and ability of the person.

What I've always wanted and tried to do is institutionalize that soul, to make it part of our daily lives while we work, whether in the office or while we telecommute. This is how a company should be run. This is what we must keep for our group.

When we finally get our own company up and running, I dream that it will outlive all of us. I dream that people will love working for that company, that people will wish they were part of that company, that other companies will admire that company, that society will be better off with that company around. I dream that this stays true for our group as we go on.

In all of these, I am thankful to find colleagues like you who value the same things.

The coming days, weeks, months, and years will be hard, but it will be worth it, if we keep things clear. The way things are can be unfair and outright shitty, and some people will tell us this just to shut us up--but as Jodie Foster said in the movie, Contact:

"Funny, I always thought that the world was what we make of it."

We are creatives--creators, each one of us.